Satire Comes to Salisbury

Posted by Cato
May 18, 2008

Reading this morning’s piece on Barrie Tilghman’s 10th anniversary as Salisbury Mayor I questioned whether I was reading Gannett’s Daily Times or Megalopolitan’s The Beast from Evelyn Waugh’s novel Scoop (an hilarious satire of journalism where “reporters” write stories of events that they have never seen, nor been near). Laura D’Alessandro, Tilghman press secretary and nominal Daily Times reporter, seems to have leapt from the pages of a book written over seventy years ago. Unfortunately for Tilghman, even having a newspaper in your pocket makes listing fictitious accomplishments difficult when both the Mayor and her press secretary lack imagination.

According to today’s piece, what are Tilghman’s accomplishments? Redecorating the Mayor’s office, including new curtains. Getting email. Growing the bureaucracy by creating departments that lack the power to accomplish their stated goals. Saddling the taxpayers with a capital improvement plan designed to subsidize developers (the now infamous, and disreputable, Growth Pays for Growth strategy).

Amusement abounds when listening to Tilghman discuss her “neighborhood strategy” that was in place during the first three years of her reign. Of course we can’t read about the following seven years. All but her most ardent sycophants in the city’s older neighborhoods have abandoned her. Her greatest legislative accomplishment, as regards the city’s older residential neighborhoods, was her laughable “4-3 bill” which places the full burden of proof on residents and all of the power in the hands of her slumlord allies.

Other than direct quotes from the Queen of Barrieland herself, what did The Beast (sorry, Daily Times) offer us? Quotes from one of her lap dogs, former city council president Mike Dunn. Ms. D’Alessandro will no doubt note that she attempted to garner comment from three political opponents, former council members Carolyn Hall, Palmer Gillis, and Rachel Polk. Of course, given that each one has been the victim of character assassination from the pages of the very same rag that Ms. D’Alessandro represents (when she isn’t hacking for Tilghman), I’m not surprised that they refused to comment.

D’Alessandro did manage to track down former councilman (and probable mayoral candidate) Jim Ireton. This is always a safe bet. Despite Ireton being a gentleman of the first order and well versed on the affairs and problems of Salisbury, he does posses one character flaw. Jim doesn’t like to stand up in public (or the press) and call a spade a spade. While I respect the old adage “If you don’t have anything nice to say …”, it’s difficult to differentiate yourself in politics by refusing to discuss the myriad policy and fiscal errors of Salisbury’s fascist queen.

What makes today’s article more amusing (or despicable) than its blatant genuflection to the altar of the false-god Barrie Tilghman, is its contrast with D’Alessandro’s other reporting on city affairs. Just think, IF she spent half the time reporting on the city budget that she obviously spent on this piece of trifling propaganda the citizens of Salisbury might actually know a little bit about how Tilghman is wasting the taxpayers’ money.

Sphere: Related Content

Maryland, Media, Salisbury Politics

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